I took the weekend off, like so many of you probably did and probably have before. It happens the same every week, whether you’re working outside the home or at home with the kid(s). The itch comes Thursday evening, all the great TV shows are on Thursday evening like some kinda of pump-me-up. For me it’s 30 Rock, Parks & Rec and Up All Night that get me jazzed. I have an hour and a half of gut-busting laughs and realize- TOMORROW IS FRIDAY! And even though I’m at home with the baby, Friday still means FREEDOM. Not that my routine really changes, still have to get up with the baby Saturday morning, which means I have to go to bed with the baby Friday night. But what Friday does mean is I take the weekend off.
The itch that started Thursday evening has spread into an eczema like rash by Friday afternoon that must be scratched or I’ll just die. Except when you scratch it, it spreads. So by Friday evening Husband Chad comes home and I’m just waiting for any reason to throw this diet out the window, and trust me men make it easy to convince you that you deserve some delicious grease (they want it to). Here’s how it usually goes down: Husband Chad calls on his way home (hands-free of course J) “Hey babe, you’ve been working hard all week, why don’t we just order in”. Of course he’s craving the carbs and salt too. And that’s all you need to start justifying it to yourself. I’m thinking, “Yes, I have worked hard. No, I haven’t eaten anything bad all week. Ya, I worked out, and it hurt, it burned, and it felt good all at the same time. So you know what? I totally deserve a carb overload!”.
The problem is much like an addiction, once you break it is so easy to continue to break and continue and continue and continue. (You get the point.) So you have some pizza Friday evening, and you gotta make yourself a Caesar. “It’s Friday, you deserve a cocktail!” you’re justifying. And for some reason you have to choose the most salt-filled cocktail out there (look at the Clamato label, talk about exceeding your daily intake of salt). Oh, but in the immortal words of Frank the Tank “Once it hits your lips”. So true Frank, so true. Once it hits your lips you’re too far gone. Saturday morning you wake up thinking “well, I’ve already broke my diet, let’s keep this going. Can’t do any more harm than I’ve already done”, You start things off with a cinnamon roll, c’mon it’s been a month since I’ve had one. Then lunch rolls around you’re eczema like rash has spread down your torso, must get more carbs! And because you’ve purged your house off anything bad for you, you’re now making deals with your husband on who should run out and get the fatty-delicious foods. Hey, it’s the weekend, you can start again Monday. Monday’s a new week and you’ve already broken, what’s the harm in a little more.
There is the harm right there. Saturday is now a scratch and there’s only one day left in the weekend, Sunday. Who wants to do anything on Sunday? Sunday was made for couches and chips or the couch potato if you will. When we’re feeling like being bad and throwing all food caution to the wind, Husband Chad and my favourite Sunday starts with eggs benny and ends with five different tasty-delicious appy style plates to munch on while watching some great HBO dramas. Just thinking of it makes me wanna turn this Monday into a Sunday. Cause Monday, well Monday sucks.
Anyone who says food is not an addiction has never taken a weekend off. I just took the weekend off and binged, and man it felt good. Like all addictions I justified it to myself, why I deserved it. Like any addiction I craved and wanted- heck needed it. The salt! The carbs! The sugar! Like any addiction I felt so so so so good once I got it in my system and like any addiction I feel like crap now. The dawn has drawn upon me and all the hideousness of this weekend and the realization that everything I worked so hard for last week. The suffering of dieting, the suffering of working out, the suffering oh the suffering was for nothing. Basically I suffered all week to break even or worse let the weekend win. So how do you NOT take the weekend off? Ha! Ask me next Friday, I have four days to figure that out.
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